he's gone.............

Ten minutes ago I sat down at my computer and read a note from my friend about her husband who is nearing the end of a long fight with cancer. She said it was getting harder and things were getting tougher. She was asking God to take her husband soon so he would quit hurting. That email was at 7:31pm. I just got another email at 9:50 and her post was: "he's gone...........i love you david"

I've never posted or written anything that others would read so close to finding out a friend had died. As I write, tears stream down my face. I am happy that my friend isn't hurting, no more taps, no more discomfort, no more. I am deeply saddened for his wife and two young boys. This sucks!

I am a pastor and I know what the right answers are, but just as my joy in Jesus is real, so is my pain. This isn't fair. It's not fair for her...it's not fair for them. I know that nobody said life was fair...and I even have a good theological reason for why bad things happen to good people. But right now, I don't really care about any of that.

Over the past 6 years, I have committed myself to investing into 30 core competencies of my faith and there is one that I am holding on tightly to right now. It's a virtue called "Hope." "I can cope with the hardships of life and death because of the hope I have in Jesus Christ." As a follower of Christ, I have a hope that the suffering in this world is not the end of the story. In the bible, there is a verse in Hebrews that says "We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where our forerunner, Jesus, has entered on our behalf." In nights like tonight, my soul needs an anchor.

As I write, I loop a song in iTunes from the new Crowder CD, Remedy, called "Never Let Go" Here are the words...

When clouds veil sun
And disaster comes
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul
When waters rise
And hope takes flight
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul

Ever faithful ever true
You I know
You never let go
You never let go
You never let go

When clouds brought rain
And disaster came
Oh, my soul
When waters rose
And hope had flown
Oh, my soul

Oh my soul
Overflows
Oh, what love, oh, what love
Oh, my soul
Fills hope
Perfect love that never lets go

Oh what love, oh, what love
In joy and pain
In sun and rain
You're the same
Oh, you never let go

Tonight wasn't the first night I have lost a friend on this earth way too soon and I am sure it won't be the last. It hurt when Steve left early, it hurt when Jeff left early and tonight it hurts because David left early. Steve's wife and kids sang this song before it was ever written. Jeff's wife and kids felt the joy and pain, but embraced the fact that Father never left them alone. Now, Dina gets to taste a closeness to the Father that she has never had before - a closeness that allows for sorrow, anger, doubt, fear; a closeness that brings joy through sorrow, peace through the anger, assurance through the doubt and security through the fear. Oh my soul. Oh my soul.