"It's not home, it's not work. It's that other place. It's your space." - Jason Stevens, founder of Retreat
Home is your first place. Work is your second place. Then you have the "other place" or what are commonly referred to as third places. Third place is a term used in the concept of community building referring to social surroundings that is separate from your first two places. Starbucks uses the term in its marketing to encourage people to let them be your "third place." When you think of your local community, do any third places immediately come to mind? If so, then you can probably find significant connections being made in that setting.
I live in a suburban community southeast of Houston. Not only am I on the outskirts of Houston, I am also a quasi-suburb of a smaller town called League City. Between my house and downtown League City, there are about four miles and two major roads. Our community has no coffee shops, one pub, very few restaurants, no grocery stores, a brand new high school, a few businesses trickling in and a whole bunch of rooftops. My immediate community consists of approximately 25 subdivisions, and mine is called Cedar Landing - with two sections. For many people in my community, our first place is common, but our second places are spread hundreds of miles apart. I have neighbors who work in Galveston (30 miles away), the Medical Center in Houston (25 miles away), and others work even further. In our community, it's easy to get sucked into a life of isolation where we get up, go to our first place, come home, hideaway in our second place and never really get to know others or let others know us. On the front end, many of us feel that there is nothing wrong with this, or at the least, that's just how life goes. Here are some of the medical reports regarding our social connections:
Results from the American Institute for Stress…
- "The wisdom of the ages, anecdotal observations, careful clinical case studies and trials, epidemiological data on marriage, divorce and death, as well as sophisticated psycho-physiological and laboratory testing – all confirm that strong social support is a powerful stress buster."10
- Research conducted on 232 patients who had undergone cardiac surgery, where 21 died within six months: Two statistically significant mortality predictors emerged…
- "Lack of participation in social or community groups
- "Absence of strength and comfort from religion."
The medical community has pondered the strong connection between community and cardiovascular disease and concluded that wholesome community reduces hyperactive cardiovascular reactivity to stress. When that community is spiritually based, health rises even further.
A Swedish report demonstrates that middle-aged men who had recently endured high levels of emotional stress but had little emotional support were three times as likely to die over the next seven years as those with close personal ties.
A California study involving seven thousand men and women found that after nine years those with the fewest social ties were twice as likely to die as those with the strongest ones.
American Institute for Stress – social activity can predict cardiac mortality as strongly as elevated cholesterol and serum lipid patterns.
"Social support is linked with higher mortality rates for heart attacks, diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis and other autoimmune disorders."
"Social isolation contributes to illness and death as much as smoking."
- taken from Making Room For Life by Randy Frazee
If this is true, then we must be intentional about developing our own social support - our own community. Where are the third places in our community going to be? Where will we be able to meet people and connect socially? Our base for church operations could become one of the most significant third places in our community - the Perry Family YMCA. I've already discovered the joy of walking in and seeing Doug, Morgan and Cheryl in the mornings, riding bikes while Kris tells me about the next plan for our Children's Ministry, visiting with Brad and Kayla between stations, catching a neighbor in the hallway and more opportunities are coming. The only downfall with the Y is that it's a member-generated community. Foster's Family Sports Pub is developing this sort of reputation - and it's where The Springs had their first corporate gathering!
There is no doubt that these third places are going to start coming into our community. The question will be, "Are we ready to invest socially in those areas?" I am ready. I am waiting. I am searching. Until they get here, the Y will be one of my primary ones and I will continue to invest in spots where I see others gathering. Who knows, one day our "church" might just find itself one of the best third places in the area!
Check out the video on my blog page of an incredible "third place" in Brunswick, MD. It's an old church building turned coffee house - what irony! www.beansinthebelfry.com
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2 comments:
My 3rd place is the Y...I go there most days, and sometimes I even get in a workout! HaHa!
As a family, our 3rd place is our cul-de-sac (sp?) We hang out there, kids run wild, parents chit-chat about their day or current events, and we all laugh and bond. We know what is going on in each other's lives, and are able to follow through..."So, how did that meeting go with your boss?" or "How did your grandmother's surgery go?" We come from all walks of life with different backgrounds and beliefs, but we all have one thing in common: Our 3rd place.
I've found myself in an interesting place right now. Whenever Cameron has changed jobs, there was always a built-in community provided by the church--usually the staff and their wives. Immediately, I had a group of people with whom I was connected, a place to hang--my third place. Since we've moved to League City, I've discovered what most people who move to a new city find: I must make an effort to meet people. I don't have that built-in security blanket anymore. The church used to be my third place, and since the Springs doesn't have a building, I no longer have that. (Besides, I've changed my thinking about the church being my third place!) I haven't found that third place, just yet. Working on it. Being intentional....or at least trying to be. My thinking, right now, is that the Victory Lakes boys athletic events will slowly become my third place....we are meeting more and more parents through regularly scheduled sporting events. I know, though, that to get to know more parents, I'll have to sit with different people sometimes, or volunteer to run consession stand, etc....branch out. Not the easiest thing to do. But, the good thing to do. It stretches me and challenges me. And, I have to keep reminding myself that, as a wise woman in our bible study once said, "Everyone has a story."
I want to find that third place and hear some of those stories.
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