Sometimes Life Sucks

I am writing in response to a phone call I received this afternoon. A friend of the family had a grand-baby yesterday. Unfortunately the baby wasn't due until July. Mom was having some problems and went to the hospital and the doctor immediately came and checked on them. He ordered an emergency c-section and then had the baby care-flighted to the closest children's hospital. The doctor came out and asked the family if they believed in God or prayer, and said that they should because there was no other reason for the baby to have made it yesterday. Everyone rejoiced.

Today, the baby didn't make it. Brain activity had ceased and the mom was on her way to the hospital to hold her little one before they removed the breathing tubes. What an awful drive to the hospital for these brand new parents to embrace a child they will never get to watch grow up. Sometimes life sucks.

Even as I type this post, my fingers are punching the keys and I guess it might just be my way of punching my fists in the air. What happened to God wanting that baby to make it, like the doctor said? If we gave him the praise yesterday, what are we to do today? I don't even know the couple who are grieving like they never thought possible tonight. I barely know the grandmother who is wounded deeply in places that can hardly be discussed. I do know the God that was not distant from them on Monday when all was good, or yesterday when things were stormy, or today when all seems lost. The God I love does not leave or forsake us when things go badly...very badly. He knows more to the story than I can ever see, and His intention for us is never to harm us, but to protect us.

I know the "right" answers, but they seem so inadequate right now. I know that Papa wants to love this young couple through these difficult days, and I know He is big enough to absorb their fists and their fury tonight...and tomorrow. Sometimes life sucks, but our God is a life-giving Papa and He still offers to breathe life into dead places. Oh God, bring life and hope and healing to this family. Oh God...

My Brightness

Last weekend when we deployed Springs to three houses in one neighborhood in Galveston, I have never been prouder of my Church.  Not just our little band of followers, but the Church as a whole.  I realize that there are many of Christ's followers throwing hammers and pulling molded sheetrock, hauling out wet furniture and ruined beds, fighting through the smell and the devastation just to BE THE CHURCH for some people who have watched their livelihood get swept away.  For those of us who follow Jesus, there is something inside us that intuitively wants to help when people are down.  Often, we don't know how or we let our own busy-ness step in front, but the want-to is still there.  I love it.

I often get my heart pricked by songs and this week has been one of those times.  Charlie Hall has a new CD out called "The Bright Sadness."  I am loving this CD.  Here is a song that has embraced me this week...maybe it will you, too.

My Brightness

Well I've been hit from every corner; I've been thrown from side to side

And I'm cracked up on the inside, so I come to You for life

Your presence always heals me so I want to drink it in

And You know where I'm going God and You know where I've been

And Your love is like a rock when I'm spinning

Your love is like a rock when I'm spinning

Your love is like a rock when I'm spinning around

Yesterday I felt so angry and today so insecure

And I hate it that I wrestle with the God that I adore

Your presence always heals me, so I want to drink it in

And You know where we're going God and You know where I've been

And I know less about You, but my heart loves You so much more

Your the bright in sadness, You're my brightness

I wish this thing could pass from me but I'm wanting what You want

So bring me high or bring me low; just hold me in Your love