My Dad

Some of you may know my dad, but most of you probably don't. In honor of him on Father's Day, I'd like to tell you about him. As you are introduced to my dad, I hope you reflect on your dad. If you are one of the lucky adults who grew up with an incredible dad, take some time to thank God for what he passed on to you. If you weren't so lucky, and your dad sucked, I want you to know that I feel your pain. I have known enough people in your shoes, to know that it can make life difficult. No matter what kind of dad you grew up with, God wants to take all of the imperfections of your dad and be the perfect Father that all of us long for. That said, let me ramble about my dad a little bit.

My dad is a man of few words. I didn't grow up having long talks on a fishing boat, or spend weekends out in the woods together where he would teach me the life of the man. My dad and I have a connection that I really believe transcends words. I'm not making excuses for him because there have been times when I wish he had talked more and probably times when he should have talked more. Nevertheless, we had a connection that continues today. When something good happens, I want to talk to dad first. When something bad happens, I want to talk to dad first. I said he was a man of few words, not me.

My dad is a man of kind words. I told everyone this morning that my dad taught me how to be polite. All growing up, I never heard my dad say a curse word. He didn't speak ill of others, even when he had the opportunity. I think my dad's humility is what drives his kindness. For my first 12 years of life, he taught biology and math in high schools and coached. He respected his players and I never saw him belittle a student while coaching. He has never once made me feel inadequate in anything I tried. I only hope I can pass along a fraction of his kindness to my kids.

My dad is a man of loyalty. This is one of those areas where you only notice if a dad lacks it. My dad has been faithful to me, my brother and our mother. He has remained loyal when it wasn't easy and when he didn't "have" to. My dad taught me the value of keeping your word and staying committed without ever sitting down and giving me a "commitment talk." My dad is a rock.

My dad isn't perfect...none of us dads are. My relationship with my dad and I play golf together. We chat about all kinds of things that don't really matter in this world. We laugh and we joke and we make excuses...every round. He is my dad and he is my friend. If he lived closer, I'd like to hang out with him. I get to play golf with him this week when he comes to stay with us. I look forward to a round of loose shots, jokes made and maybe I'll even buy him a Smirnoff Ice (because he likes those). Here is my toast to my dad. It's really true that just about any guy in this world can check off "father" on a box, but not every guy knows how to be a "dad." Thanks Dad. I love you....how 'bout them Cowboys?

All People? Loved? C'mon...

Today I posted this on our church blog...rather than redirect, I thought I'd just give it to you here this time.

We believe all people are loved by God and need Jesus Christ as their Savior.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." - John 3:16 (TNIV)

All People. Rich and Poor. Healthy and Sick. Hurting and Healed. African and American. Latino and Asian. Popular and Unpopular. Pleasant and Annoying. Christian and Buddhist. Optimist and Pessimist. Heterosexual and Homosexual. Sober and Drunk. Blue Collar and White Collar. Republican and Democrat. Man and Woman. Adult and Child. All People.

Loved by God. Not just liked, but loved. Loved with the agape love of God. Loved where we see their needs as important as we see our own. Loved where we sacrifice on their behalf. Loved by us. Loved by God.

Need Jesus Christ as their Savior. Don't need platitudes. Don't need trite sayings. Don't need Christian jewelry. Don't need a bashing. Don't need judgement. Don't need hypocrisy. Don't need condemnation. Don't need guilt. Don't need church. Don't need a tongue-lashing. Need Jesus. Need a personal God. Need love. Need the Church. Need someone to point the way. Need a remedy. Need Jesus Christ as their Savior.

"If he is not an enemy, he's an ally."

John spoke up, “Teacher, we saw a man using your name to expel demons and we stopped him because he wasn’t in our group.”

Jesus wasn’t pleased. “Don’t stop him. No one can use my name to do something good and powerful, and in the next breath cut me down. If he’s not an enemy, he’s an ally. Why, anyone by just giving you a cup of water in my name is on our side. Count on it that God will notice.

“On the other hand, if you give one of these simple, childlike believers a hard time, bullying or taking advantage of their simple trust, you’ll soon wish you hadn’t. You’d be better off dropped in the middle of the lake with a millstone around your neck.

Mark 9:38-42

Mark 9 is a loaded chapter, to say the least. I was drawn by all 5 of the teachable passages (could be more). I have chosen to process with you through one of them, though.

Admittedly, I have a problem with criticism. I have a bit of what I've been told is a gift of discernment. Unfortunately, I have not matured in that gift, completely. It's easy for me to see the good in someone and to embrace that person no matter what they may look like on the outside. However, I can also easily see the bad in someone, and in the words of the great theologian, Bon Qui Qui, "CUT them." My passion and desire to be more like Jesus has turned my criticism 180 degrees in my life though. When I first became a Christ-follower, I would criticize those who didn't know Jesus and felt like it was my duty as a Christian to point out faults and turn them to Jesus. Now, I feel more compassion, mercy and grace flowing to those very people, and less and less flowing to the "Christians" in my culture.

What I hear being said to me in this passage is simple. Quit criticizing those who are acting in my name, and on my behalf just because you don't agree with their methods. If they are not my enemies, then they are my allies. Okay, I hear that, but...

No "buts." No matter if I agree or if I get it, it's clear. If someone is not preaching against Jesus, then I should praise God for them. I don't have to agree with their methodology, I don't have to trust them...I have to trust Him.

It is very interesting that Jesus calls these new Christ-followers, "simple child-like believers." My response to them is crucial. If I keep them from doing any work or ministry "in Jesus' name," then I am guilty. This is serious.

Father, I want to trust you with all of your 'ministers.' You know hearts and you know motives. Even in the most awkward moments, may your light shine through them, as I pray it shines through me when my heart is not right and motives are not pure. None of us are perfect and all of us need you to re-interpret our messages to the hearts of the people you want to reach. May I live in that trust more today, than I did yesterday.

Saying Goodbye Is Never Easy

This week has been a tough week for me and my family. Sunday, I got the call from my mom that I'd been expecting. My 88 year old grandmother passed away at the nursing home. My mom could hardly speak and while I knew it was a good thing for my grandmother, it still shot a pain through my heart as well. Later that day, she asked me if I thought I could do the service. I told her I could and would. My grandmother had not been back to her hometown in 7 years and no preacher or official would have been able to do her justice.

Monday and Tuesday were days spent aimlessly wandering through work and making plans to leave. All the while, I was sorting through my memory bank for things that would be uplifting and honoring to my grandmother. Most of you who read this don't know my grandmother, and probably didn't even know about her death. I lived in their town one summer while working with a church youth group, and she would always comment on my attire when I'd see her. "You're going to wear that?" Now I'm not crazy in my dress code, but for my grandmother, jeans, t-shirts or shorts were never to be worn at church. Because of this, I had to find a suit to wear. After making trips to the stores where I thought I could get a "deal," I discovered that this short, chunky body is not built for off-the-rack suits. I ended up purchasing two suits (BOGO). They cuffed the legs and took in the waist and made the suit fit just right for me. If she'd have seen me, she would have said, "It's about time you dressed like a preacher!"

This was my first trip back to McAllen since my grandfather had died 7 years ago. I really miss him, too

. He and I used to talk baseball and golf. I kept thinking how much he would have enjoyed his great-grandson. Graysen was a crazy 2 year old on this trip. He kept wanting to climb up on the casket and when he blew his Nana a kiss and said good-bye I lost it...again. Everyone there said he looked just like I did when I was his age. I smile inside when I hear that. Garin caught a great picture of Graysen sitting on my grandfather's tombstone.

Saying good-bye is never easy - no matter if the one you are parting with is still forming in mom's womb, a young parent with kids, or a grandparent of 88 years old. I thank God for pain in these cases, because if I didn't feel

the pain, I'd not have felt the love. I'm hearing Garth Brooks in the back of my mind right now. For those who love deeply, saying good-bye really sucks. As much as I hate standing up in front of people and crying my way through a funeral message, I wouldn't want to trade my tears for anything. Yeah, it's a little embarrassing, but in the end, if she hadn't meant so much to me, then I could make through without any tears.

Now we move forward. The sweet memories fill my mind today and will undoubtedly be further and further apart as the years go by, but I will never forget the fun we shared and the changes I saw in my grandmother over the years. God was doing something in her...I can't wait to hear what it all was. See you later, Nana.

Christmas Margin

This morning I had my usual Tuesday breakfast with some men from the Springs.  We had a great discussion this morning, as usual, but something really stood out and has remained with me for a couple of hours.  One of the guys said this morning that he and his family have created more margin this year and it has allowed them to see God at work in their family.

By creating financial margin by cutting back during the year, their family has been able to extend outward with their Christmas this year.  By creating relational margin, they have been able to invest in others this Christmas season and even the kids are beginning to see the needs of their friends.  

The results of one Christmas with this focus may be minimal to those kids as they grow up, but they could lead to more Christmases of the same focus, which could just change a family and those around them.  Maybe you are seeing people give out of this margin, not because of a great economic culture right now, but because they made smaller sacrifices throughout the year that is making it possible for them to experience the blessing of God flowing through them to some needy families this year.  Seeing this makes you a little jealous.  Don't worry, it's not the last opportunity we will have.  However, it starts with establishing some margin in your own family to do things for others.  Maybe your "gift" to your community is a commitment to live off less this next year so you can be in a better position to give more when the time arrives - maybe next Christmas, maybe next month.  

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas to everyone!

Matthew 5:4::Happy are the Sad?!?

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. 

What?  That doesn't make sense.  I get that only people who are sad need comfort, but when you see that blessed is actually a joyous term, how can you say that we are happy when we are sad?

I guess, we have to look more closely at the words used.  "Mourn" is the focal word for me when I read it.  What does that mean?  Is it simply sadness?  Isn't that what we do at funerals?  Yes, but the word is much more loaded than that.  The Greek word is actually pentheo and it caries with it a similar understanding to what the big fish did to Jonah...that's right - spit up, vomit, hurl, blow chunks.  The understanding is that there is something on the inside of us that is hurting us, so we have to get it out.  Sometimes this can be ugly, but it is definitely needed.  So, here's my new translation: "You will be happy when you hurl, because you will feel better."  Okay, maybe not.

Take the first in context with verse three, though - blessed are those at the end of their rope.  If there are things eating us up on the inside, we must have a place where we can get those out.  We must have a community that will see our end-of-rope status and still love us.  We have to have a community where we can get things out, so that we can be comforted.  We must.  Many of us walk around everyday with pain and hurt and mistakes bottled up on the inside that are eating away at us.  Eventually, those things will build to the point where they spew out - and you cannot help it.  The smart thing for us would be to find that community of Christ-followers that will listen as we "mourn" with them.  They will hear our hurts and through their willingness to be used by God, will over us comfort.

Our communities must be this way.  Jesus is teaching his inner circle that this is the kingdom he is ushering in.  In a culture where the religious would do everything they could to hide their problems, Jesus brings an honesty and openness into the equation.  Blessed are you when you get out on the outside what's killing you on the inside because only then will you get the comfort your soul needs and support for the journey.  It's not just about letting it out though.  Those who hear the confession, must be willing to bring a glass of encouraging water or offer a towel of admonishment to the one confessing.  That's the set-up.  We don't just come into a group, vomit all of our problems and walk away.  God speaks through the community to bring hope, healing and strength to the confessor.

I want to be part of an honest community - one that is comfortable at the end of the rope, but understands the value of healthy confession.  I think we all have an innate longing for a place to know and be known, love and be loved...to confess and to be confessed to.  

You Never Let Go

Brokering Love

Today I was reading a story about a man who was struggling with a decision.  His boss had asked him to lie for him, in order to cover up something.  If he did so, he would end up hanging out a co-worker.  He was wrestling with this decision, because his boss had said to him, "After all I've done for you, you owe me this."  As the man was seeking council from a friend, the friend told him this, "It seems to me that if you owe him then he never really did anything for you."

This comment is sitting with me.  If this is true, think about what it means.  If I hold someone I help to a debt they don't owe, then I don't really help them.  If I love expecting something in return, then I don't really love.  I have been in the boss's situation...I may not have actually said the words, but I did think them.  The bible shows us that we are not to repay evil for evil, and I think there is also something to this reciprocation.  We should not love for repayment of love.  We broker love on a regular basis to protect our own self-interests.  We extend love to those who we believe can help us meet a need in our lives - emotional, physical, spiritual, etc.  We withhold that love from those we think don't deserve it.

Jesus didn't seem to live this way.  He extended love to everyone, knowing that they would never "repay" him.  Look at the investment he made in the twelve disciples.  He loved them, knowing they would ultimately deny him, and one would even betray him.  If I somehow were able to tell who would love me and who would betray me, it would definitely affect how I distributed my love for others.  But it shouldn't!

I need God to transform this part of me into something different and new.  I want to love without strings attached.  I want to love with no expectations.  I want a relationship that demonstrates the grace and mercy of Father.

CORE VIRTUE:: LOVE
I sacrificially and unconditionally love and forgive others.

Key Verses: 
1 John 4:10-12 - “This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us."

Today's Echo in My Head

In preparing for this weekend's gathering of the Springs, I was reading through one of our texts for the weekend - Numbers 6:22-27.

The LORD said to Moses,  “Tell Aaron and his sons, ‘This is how you are to bless the Israelites. Say to them: 

“‘“The LORD bless you

and keep you; 

the LORD make his face shine on you

and be gracious to you; 

the LORD turn his face toward you

and give you peace.”’

“So they will put my name on the Israelites, and I will bless them.” 

One phrase has continued to echo in my mind - "turn his face toward you."  This verse is both haunting and comforting to me.  First, it's haunting because it seems to imply that his face is turned away from me and there is something that I can do to get him to "look at me" again.  Second, it's comforting because it seems to imply that his face is turned away from me and there is something I can do to get him to "look at me" again.

I think about all the things in my life that I've grown up doing...subconsciously hoping God would "turn his face toward" me - read my bible, sing songs, pray, share the gospel with others, be in a small group, go to church, don't drink, don't smoke or chew, or go with girls who do!  The list is goes on and on.  All done with the thought that God might look more favorably on me than he did before doing those things.  I genuinely want to know God, I think.  I mean, what's deep inside me longs to know God - Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  Unfortunately, my relationship with God has too often been more about behavior modification than anything else - all in the hopes that he would "turn his face toward" me.  I also had to do the "right" things to keep my face looking at him, so that I wouldn't miss it if he did.

What an incredibly dire way to live.  All of the meaning of the practices of the Christian faith are hollow when this is our goal - whether intentionally or not.  Prayer rings hollow if we do it hoping that it will get God to turn his face toward us.  Worship is meaningless, if we do it hoping it will get God to turn his face toward us.  Giving, living in community, bible study, giving away our lives...all of it's hopeless if our end goal is to get God to turn his face toward us.

It's all hopeless because our confidence is misplaced.  It's placed in the activities or behaviors.  Our hope is not in the God we seek, but in the things we can do, or don't do.  We don't pray, worship or study the bible, so God will turn his face toward us.  His face is already turned toward us - his posture was made clear in the person and sacrifice of Jesus.  There is NOTHING we can do that will cause him to look more favorably on us.  The work of Jesus satisfied his favor.  When we can embrace this incredible freedom, the practices of our faith become a means for us to turn our faces toward him - simply to find him staring into our eyes with love and grace and compassion and mercy.

May we live today knowing that the gaze of Father is fixed firmly on us and when he sees us, he sees his perfect Son, Jesus.  May the Spirit of God, give us the courage and the strength to live out this freedom.  May we continually seek to relate above behaving.  May we love with everything we are...both God and our neighbors!

TK Chapter 17 :: Loving Without Strings

"We think God tells us to serve in order to get people to respect us or like us so that they'll accept our God.  The real essence of biblical blessing is that it's done with no strings attached.  Hopes, desires, fervent prayer, yes - but no strings at all attached." (p143)

How can we reach out and into our world around us without having certain "strings" attached.  When we talk about neighborhood life, we are not talking about Springs small groups functioning so more people can come to the Springs.  We are not reaching out to our neighbors, so they will come to church with us.  We talk about reaching out and into our world for no other reason than loving our neighbors.  Period.

Living the life of Jesus in our homes, neighborhoods, workplaces, ball fields, gyms, courses and malls, has everything to do with being for the sake of being because God called us to be.  All of us can sniff out someone who is being friendly to us with an agenda - at least most of the time.  We can tell something just isn't right when we are getting snowed.  

Jesus said love.  Jesus was the perfect embodiment of love.  Not some weak-kneed, everything is all good, kind of love, but a love that put the interests of others in front.  A love that told the unimportant that they were important.  A love that lifted up the ones who were pushed down.  A love that allowed someone to shout, when everyone was telling them to be quiet.  A love that accepted when others judged.  A love that defended when others attacked.  A love that attacked when others defended, too.

How easy is it for you to love without strings?  If you are like me, you are tempted to say easy almost immediately.  But stop and think.  Your words are only as valid as your lifestyle.  I want to say I love without strings, but my life doesn't always demonstrate that to be true.  I love to be loved all too often and when I don't get it back, I stop dishing it out.  That just sux.  I don't want to be that way, and I honestly think God is changing me in this area.  It's getting easier.  I am not looking to abandon my expectations of others, but I am trying to remove the prerequisites I have often imposed.

Moms

I have a grand-mom, a mom-in-law, and a mom.  I'm married to a mom of two, and I am the father of a mom-to-be someday.  I have an appreciation for moms.  I love all of my moms.

Today, I am at my parents' house.  Garin and I made the short trip to see my parents - Dad and I have a golf tournament to play in today at the fine establishment known as the Mustang Golf Club.  It will be fun...but I digress.

This morning, my mom told me that she'd been up a while worrying about my little brother.  It's just something mom's do.  She said that whenever she can't sleep she worries about her two boys.  That triggered something in me, as I thought about that and all of the other moms in my world.  

One of our core virtues at The Springs is Love:  I unconditionally love and forgive others.  For moms, this just might be the most natural of all the competencies that we espouse as Christ-followers.  Moms know how to love unconditionally.  Think about it.  The most hardened criminals in our prison system have "Mom" tattooed on their shoulder, and can count on that one letter a week being from their biggest cheerleader - Mom!  Moms have the ability to soften the toughest athletes and love us no matter what.  They love when their kids make weird career choices, move far away and bring sick grand kids to see them.  Moms love when their kids wake up in a pool of poo and when they lovingly say, "I love you."  They love by picking up, cleaning up and lifting up.  They love by reaching out, taking out and helping out.  They love by being Mom.

To all of my moms - Nana, Mom, Kay, Rhonda and Garin, I love you all and thank God for what you've been, what you are, and what you will be.

Starving Jesus

I just finished reading a book by the guys who run XXXchurch.com, a ministry addressing topics most would rather not talk about.  The title of the book is "Starving Jesus: Off the Pew, Into the World."  This book was an interesting read for me.  I spread it out over about 45 days, so bits and pieces caught me.  A couple of things that are of note in this read.

1. It's easy for us as Christians to get caught up in the weekly routines of going to church and forget to actually be the church.
2. The call of God on our lives is to go and do, not sit and listen.  I'm not just referring to church either.  It's easier for me to sit and listen to a podcast or read a book than it is to go and actually get my hands dirty and do something.  I'm tired of doing nothing.

The book is a bit irreverent and I liked that.  J.R. and Craig tag-team the writing, and I really appreciated both of their perspectives.  The book has great inserts of Scripture - almost as section headings within the chapters.  The book moved me.  It has moved me to to take action and not be content sitting still and starving Jesus any longer.  My calling as a Christ-follower is no longer ignorable.  

My love must move me to act.  My love must move me to give.  My love must move me to pray.

I know I'm not alone in this journey and I hope that you, too, have had your moment where you have said, "Enough is enough.  I'm created for more than what I'm currently experiencing."  Jesus wants to meet you and me right where we are and when he does, we can't help but be changed.

Margin

One of the things I have noticed over time is the pressure I feel to decrease my margins in my life to allow time for the important things - things like family meals, dates with my wife and lunch with my daughter. It's easy to fill up my schedule so full that there is literally no time for these things, and often no time for me to invest in my corporate relationship with God.

Margin in our lives is important and in many cases essential to our personal health and the health of our families. I have a friend who appears to be fighting the final days of cancer. He is young and has a beautiful family. His wife echoed the statement made by just about everyone who has been in their situation: Make the most of everyday. Tell people you love them.

No one lies on their deathbed proclaiming their regret at not having worked more hours or made more money. But almost everyone wishes they had spent more time with there families, given more time to their relationship with God and often regret that they hadn't done more to help others.

Most of us aren't at the end of our lives (at least it doesn't appear so), but all of us must insert margin into our lives so that our regrets are minimal. What are the important things? When Jesus asked, he replied that we are to love God and love people (Matthew 22:37-40). God modeled this principle in creation when He established the 7th day as a day of rest. Working 7 days a week is not healthy for you or for your family. Setting aside times for family and friends are important elements of being the people God has called us to be. How well are you doing? Where do you find it difficult to say no? Where must you do so?

MORE THOUGHTS LIKE YESTERDAY

After writing yesterday’s post on sticking it to the man, I have been reflecting a little. This morning I was thinking about a story about Jesus. Jesus had been traveling through towns and villages, teaching where people gathered, explaining the kingdom of God, healing their diseases and their broken lives. When he looked out over the crowds, his heart broke. They were so confused and aimless, like sheep with no shepherd.

I’ve heard this story before, several times in fact, but this morning it read differently than any other time. In the original language of the story, Jesus heart isn’t what broke...it was his bowels. Sorry for the imagery, but it’s the truth. The NIV translates the word as compassion. When Jesus looked at these people, he physically hurt in his gut. Do you ever remember when that special someone broke up with you before you were ready? She ended up finding a new love before you and when you found out you had this pain in your gut. That’s the heart break that Jesus felt. Why do I not feel that for the people I know who are without Jesus?

Why did Jesus’ heart break? It broke because he saw the people as confused and aimless. Again, in the original language, it may have sounded more like this, “His heart broke for them because they were pinned down and getting beat up.” Now the picture is becoming clearer. I could never walk by a young innocent person, who is pinned down and being beaten up by a bigger bully. Jesus’ perspective was different.

In order for me to ever see people the way Jesus sees them, I must get past the bully that has them pinned down. I must see that the bully is the behavior, no matter how ugly or consensual it may be. Apart from the freeing love of Christ, we are just getting bullied around by an enemy that doesn’t want anything to do with us. If we ever hope to see people transformed into who God wants them to be, we must be willing to befriend them right where they are...warts and all.

Matthew 9.36 (MESSAGE)
When he looked out over the crowds, his heart broke. So confused and aimless they were, like sheep with no shepherd.